Much of our trepidation for change is based on our fear of failure. And fear is a powerful motivator. But what happens when we set ourselves up for failure? What happens when we cause our own failure?
Self sabotage is a constant topic of discussion for anyone involved in the health and fitness spheres. Clients often ask why do I self sabotage? While that is likely a complex answer requiring years of introspection and therapy, one simple answer is simply that fear of failure. By expecting failure, by announcing its impending arrival, by signaling to all that we know the outcome we have taken back the power from failure. We are the ones in control. We no longer have to admit that we can’t control outcomes. The world feels right again. For we are successful. Successful in failure.
Anything worthwhile comes with inherent risk. Failure is a distinct possibility. But when it comes to weight loss, what do you have to lose? I’m gonna let that pun sit for a minute…
We must accept failure as a part of growth. Of process. Of change. If there is no risk there is no reward. The desire to play it safe, to not be vulnerable is not protecting us though. It is keeping us sheltered in comfort. But that comfort is a convenience that has left us miserable. Would you rather be comfortably trapped or uncomfortably free? It’s not an easy answer.
But what of those who, instead of fearing failure fear success? A fear of what life will look like when we’ve reached our goals. Once again, we set ourselves up for failure because if we never succeed we will never have to meet the new expectations that come along with our new role. Be that a new job or a new physique. If we fail, we live out to all our old expectations. After all, we’ve failed before. No one will be surprised to see us fail again.
Success means more work not less. Success means becoming the person you say you want to be. Success means show me, don’t tell me. And that’s scary.
If you say you’re going to fail and you do, congratulations. That’s actually success. Now, let’s stop succeeding at failure and try a different approach.
