I talk a lot about growth and I probably use the word change a lot. I look at myself 15 years ago and I sure look like a different person. 60lbs lighter, head full of hair, in the early stages of a different career. I look to be leading a separate life.
But I look at my eyes and see the same intensity. The obsession with being better, if not the best. I studied humanity, trying to get to the root of behavior so that I could write the perfect song. So that I could bring joy and heartache in the same phrase. Because nothing speaks to the soul like truth.
I spend less time with a guitar now. More with a laptop or in the weight room or on the mats. But I’m still obsessed. It might look like a different pursuit but it is all the same. The quest for a better truth. Whether in a psychology text or facing down a 500lb squat or lining up against a black belt, truth is there. Truth is in the tiny moments we live each day. Yet, most of us would rather lie to ourselves.
Struggle is where I choose to live. Every day I choose to do something that feels like the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Some days are harder than others, but they are still a choice.
Don’t be ashamed of struggling. Don’t be upset if life feels hard. It’s supposed to be.
I look at that skinny 25 year old and while others might see a different person it’s just me. I haven’t changed. I’ve just grown. And that looks different for each of us.
