Tough love

October 2, 2020

So often people I work with say they need some “tough love”. My response is always that I don’t do “tough love”. It’s senseless. I watch people beat themselves up and punish themselves over and over for mistakes they’ve made or slip ups that have occurred in their nutrition; the last thing anyone needs is someone else telling them they’ve screwed up. In addition, how well has the self flagellation worked up to this point?

But in the interest of placating those who want some reality sprinkled into their day, here are some generalized truths that sound like tough love.

  1. Tough love from another is just a way to avoid accountability. Looking to an external source to do the work for you. Me telling you you are screwing up doesn’t change anything. Just adds more shame to a process which should alleviate suffering, not exacerbate it.
  2. The Universe isn’t here to make your life easier. Waiting for it to change will be a long run. You’re gonna have to be the one that changes. Or you can just wait around forever.
  3. Genetics help. But you can’t change yours. Deal with it.
  4. Wishing your life was easier won’t make it so. Our struggles are what define us. So either get to work or keep wishing your life away.
  5. “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” Life ain’t easy. Staying miserable is a choice. Your choice. What happened to you in life is not your fault. However, how you deal with it is your responsibility.
  6. You have more time than you think. You just aren’t prioritizing what needs to be to succeed. Scrolling social media, watching Netflix, and football Sundays are fun but you can easily find 15-30 minutes in there to plan your food and prep some chicken.
  7. Seven days a week of HIIT or bootcamp might be making your fat loss harder, not easier. Rest days, traditional resistance training, and more walking are what you need. Not just more sweat and burn
  8. Peanut butter is not a protein source.
  9. Nobody cares what your body fat percentage is. The mirror, your performance in the gym, and how you feel are way more important metrics than some test that is wildly inaccurate.
  10. You can do this. It might be hard. It might suck at times. Just don’t give up before the magic happens.

 

Author

Jeb Johnston

Share this post:

Related Posts

    Jul 18, 2020
    The hardest realization most of us must come to is that we will have to make sacrifices. To gain one thing we may have to give another.
    Mar 24, 2023
    As I work with more and more people who are chasing personal growth rather than just weight loss, and as I work on my own personal & professional growth, I’m realizing the folly of pathologizing emotions & behaviors. While we rail against the stigma of calling exercise or foods “good” vs “ba...
    It's Ok To Be Happy
    Apr 1, 2020
    Yes, we are in difficult times and people are enduring loss of work and even loss of life. We need to accept the reality and the gravity of our situation and yet still live our lives.
    Apr 8, 2023
    Being resistant to change doesn't make you "uncoachable", it makes you normal. It's spending time in that uncomfortable place making small improvements that will help you move from contemplation to action.

    Ready to Break Free from Diets, Numbers, and Negative Self-Talk?

    At Food on the Mind, we help you leave behind restrictive diets, harmful habits, and self-doubt. Sign up to our personalized 1:1 coaching and together, let’s develop skills to rebuild your relationship with food, your body, and your mind. This is more than a program — it’s a blueprint for lasting transformation. Together, we’ll build the most empowered version of you.