Ambivalence

April 8, 2023
Being resistant to change doesn’t make you “uncoachable”, it makes you normal. It’s spending time in that uncomfortable place making small improvements that will help you move from contemplation to action. Don’t give up before the “magic” happens.

I had a client recently tell me they felt “uncoachable” because they weren’t doing the things they knew they needed to do to see a certain outcome. She felt resistant to things and frustrated. Mind you, she was doing exactly what she should. She was very coachable, making small steps that could fit into a very full life that felt overwhelming at times. Yet she thought she should be doing more.

It’s sometimes easier to blame ourselves and want to revert back to the same strategies that have failed us in the past. Because they feel safe. They feel familiar. Even if we know they are what led us here.

When you embark on a new path, a new way of doing things, it will be uncomfortable. It will feel foreign. And you will resist. Lean into that.

“What am I resisting against?”

“What happens if I fail? If I succeed?”

“What does life look like if I continue down this new path? Is it a better path than the one I’ve been going down?”

Our obsession with seeing an outcome quickly is human nature. It’s also wildly unrealistic. Focus on what’s important and the outcome will appear. Keep looking at the finish line while jogging in place and you’ll find it never gets any closer.

Author

Jeb Johnston

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