Your “problem” behaviors aren’t actually a problem. They’re a solution. The “problem” lies elsewhere
When we look at behavior change we often look to those that we wish to extinguish. Our “bad habits”. While this can be a good practice to identify aspects of our lives that don’t align with our values, it belies the nature of change.
The “bad habits” are not the problem. No, they exist as a mechanism of protection or coping for the true issue. Yet until we “break” that habit we will have trouble creating the space necessary to really work on the greater issue.
From a biological standpoint, we might never be able to extinguish a habit. The myelination that occurs around the neural axons looks to be permanent.
This could be why extinguishing and even suppressing our habits without an alternative in place often leads to a relapse of behaviors.
However, if we start to see these habits for their protective nature, we can better understand their genesis and therefore their purpose. And that’s what can lead to change.
As we move on from our “bad habits” we often notice they start to bubble up. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, think of it as your early warning system that something is off.
That somewhere you are feeling an incongruence in your life. These warnings, these 🚩 can help you to notice challenges before they become overwhelming.
Just as there are no bad foods there are no bad emotions. No bad parts. They all serve a purpose, that purpose might just not serve you anymore.
