As with most behavior change, I find the first step is always to identify. In the case of stressors, this is simply identifying the source (or perceived source) of our stress. Is it work related? Parenting? Relationship?
From there we wish to identify some timing issues. Are these acute moments punctuated by a time related event such as when the kids come home from school or leaving for work? Discovering a triggering event can help us to better mitigate moments of acute stressors which will help us to manage more systemic stress.
We also want to think about who we are with and the environment we are in. Are we in the kitchen with our spouse or in the car with our kids? While no one else is responsible for our behaviors, identifying our reactions will help us to manage them.
If stress is more systemic it definitely can be more difficult to identify and lends itself more to a feeling of general anxiety rather than simply stress. This is an important distinction because, while many of the tools we use to manage stress are going to be similar, systemic stress will require more continuous maintenance practices vs specific skills.
So to begin working towards managing our stressors we must first work to identify them. Identify the source, the environment, the people around you and your reaction to it all. Only then can we start to work towards changing things.
