Instead of finding your “why” try finding your “why not?” Why not eat more whole foods? Why not get more steps? Why not exercise? Tying values to these things will be important long term but getting started is sometimes as simple as overcoming objections.
While I place a lot of importance on establishing our values and understanding the motivation behind our actions, I’ve long believed that the “why” will reveal itself. Actively pursuing it as a means to drive motivation to enact behavior change is often a wasted effort.
For one, we often create a “why” that sounds good and fulfills a narrative but that is often more style than substance. It’s ok, it’s human nature. Second, like most cliches that emanate from business self-help tropes, the translation to health pursuits is not necessarily applicable. So rather than getting bogged down in an existential mind fuck, try instead to find reasons not to change. Play Devil’s Advocate. You’ve gone over all the reasons that you want something yet you still fight it. Why haven’t you committed? Why are you still “stuck”?
Ambivalence is a part of behavior change. Rather than ignoring it and trying to white knuckle your way through, try acknowledging it. Accepting it. And then see if the reasons you’re resistant are good ones. I’m willing to bet they aren’t. They’ve just been there for a long time and have helped you in the past.
Do you have a good set of “why nots”? Or, when you ask yourself, do you start to see a clearer path forward?
