“But wherever I have gone I was sure to find myself there You can run all your life But not go anywhere”
— Mike Ness (Social Distortion)
Hitting your goals feels good but if you’re chasing them to escape yourself or your life, you’ll be disappointed. It’s still gonna be you at that finish line.
I’ve been a master at reaching my goals. Throughout multiple careers I’ve never shied away from climbing the ladder and going after what I thought would bring me peace. And every time I got there, it was still just me that greeted me in the morning.
From my time bartending when I was voted best bartender in the City paper, to being a hairdresser where I worked with celebrities and super models and worked at fashion week and shot at the Condé Nast building and saw my work on the covers of every magazine imaginable. To writing in fitness and having cover stories and even writing the workout for the Terminator return.
As a fitness professional, I quickly built a sizable client base and opened my own studio in the most expensive and competitive city in the world. And succeeded. I then went fully online and my successes continued to mount up. Yet I was miserable.
I thought I valued things such as accolades and money and material goods. When I’m reality I craved authenticity and creative control. It wasn’t until I took control of my own future that I finally saw where I wanted to go.
Today, I am happier than ever because I am doing work that matches my values. My practice is never going to be a multimillion dollar business. My work isn’t “scalable”. I can’t turn what I do into business to sell for some huge profit. I will never achieve what the business gurus say is “success”. And I am okay with that. Because I have been at the top of several mountains and they’ve all felt empty to me.
I spent most of my life chasing dreams that I thought would make me feel like I finally belonged. And well over half of that killing myself with drugs and alcohol because achievements weren’t enough.
Stop living someone else’s expectations. Find your own way. And that way, when you reach a destination and it’s you standing there, it’s exactly who you hoped to see.
