If your mind feels blank right now, that’s okay. It’s normal. Most of us aren’t used to thinking this way. We get so caught up in “what we’re supposed to do” that we rarely ask why we’re doing it. Here’s a way to get started.
1. Ask the “5 Whys”
Take a surface-level reason and ask “why” five times.
Example:
- Why do I want to lose weight? “So I can feel better about how I look.”
- Why do I want to feel better about how I look? “Because I feel self-conscious at work.”
- Why do I feel self-conscious at work? “Because I feel like people are judging me.”
- Why do I care if people are judging me? “Because I want to be seen as competent and worthy.”
- Why do I want to be seen as competent and worthy? “Because I want to believe I am valuable, regardless of how I look.”
Boom. That’s the real why. I want to believe I am valuable, regardless of how I look. That’s a powerful place to work from.
2. Ask Yourself This One Key Question
Instead of focusing on the body you want, ask:
👉 What kind of life do I want to create?
What experiences do you want more of? What relationships do you want to nurture? What do you want your future self to look back on with pride? This isn’t about “body goals”—it’s about life goals.
Maybe it’s being able to say yes to a spontaneous hiking trip with friends. Maybe it’s about setting an example for your kids. Maybe it’s being able to look in the mirror and see someone who no longer needs to prove her worth to anyone.
Once you’ve got an answer, write it down. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be yours.
