Seek first to understand

April 27, 2020
Our nutrition and our fitness and our health are not silos existing in isolation. They are all interconnected like everything and everyone. And one of the biggest influences on our interconnectedness is our ability to make and maintain relationships. Also, when people like you they will do things for you. That’s cool.

One tool for creating better interpersonal effectiveness is to practice validation. Often, we will disagree with others. That is unavoidable and an important part of our relationships. But discounting the emotions, thoughts, or behaviors of others will only ensure that a disagreement will only worsen and create a divide rather than increasing our connection. So how do we validate someone’s concerns while disagreeing with their message?

Seek first to understand. Try to find the truth within their reality. Let them know that you understand that they have these feelings or thoughts or behaviors and that there are legitimate causes to them.

Now, validation does not mean we agree with the statements. Validation does not mean we like it. It only shows that we understand these feelings and the causes.

Validation is a simple and powerful tool to improve our ability to navigate this world. Your ability to create and maintain effective personal and professional relationships is paramount not just to how others view you but also how you view yourself. And in the end our own self worth is what defines success. That is priceless.

Author

Jeb Johnston

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